Category: Conspiracies for Morons

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Why All QAnon and Evil Evangelicals Should Be Immediately Executed!

From Salon, “Although QAnon isn’t known for being a religious movement per se, The Atlantic’s Adrienne LaFrance has reported on QAnon-minded churches being developed. And Kristian predicts that QAnon will grow as a religious sect. ‘The church of QAnon may be a portent of things to come,’ Kristian writes. ‘Traditional religiosity is declining in America, but humanity will not cease to be religious. It will merely diversify its sources of increasingly customized religiosity. From lapsed evangelicals, as many QAnon adherents seem to be, to religiously unaffiliated “nones,” people crave the community, meaning and purpose church provides — even if they abandon or reject its teachings.’ Kristian notes the similarities between QAnon’s views and the views of end-time Christian fundamentalists, who have an obsession with the apocalypse.”

This level of stupidity cannot — must not— be allowed to survive. Kill them all before it’s too late for America! Oh, who the f*** am I kidding? It was too late the second traitor trump was elected, but no one believes me and no one will until more people die because of traitor trump’s incompetence. For some, it will never be enough dead because those MAGA morons, RepubliKKKlans, and evil Evangelicals will always think the “right” people (a.k.a. anyone but themselves) are dying. Welcome to trump stupid America. The country is just simply beyond fixing at this point. Morons got us to this place and there is no returning because welcome to stupid America!

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Conspiracy Theory Guides DOJ

CNN reports, “Attorney General William Barr’s probe into the intelligence and origins of the 2016 Trump-Russia investigation is now a criminal investigation, according to a person familiar with the matter.” This is what a stupid country looks like. So, the Department of Justice has now officially become traitor trump’s department of revenge. Right on cue traitor Barr has turned the department into a weapon for traitor trump to punish his political enemies. Congratu-f***ing-lations, America. I woke up to an even dumber country. I think at this point I need to start praying that RepubliKKKlans and MAGA morons drop dead. That’s not too much to ask.

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A Country of F***tards

According to CNN, “Tweeting about a conspiracy theory may have changed the conversation, but at what cost to Trump? There’s danger in applying strategy to Trump’s whims on Twitter. Far from paying a price for pushing such distortions and lies, however, he has been rewarded with the White House.” Yup, traitor trump won, in part, because this country is so f***ing stupid it just ignored all the absolute bat-Scheiße craziness spewed from his mouth and thumbs. Welcome to trump stupid America. Every day is more proof that the country is full of m*****f***ing G.D. idiots! The country is lost. It was lost the night traitor trump was elected. F***ing morons!

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I Can’t!

A headline from Politico reads, “Epstein death brings birth of mainstream conspiracy theories.” Yup, this is where stupid America is! Everything is a f***ing conspiracy and the American people believe it because this is the land of f***ing morons! Just so much f***ing stupidity! This is exactly what happened: he never had a chance to survive. He knew that. He was never going to be free again. Prisons have their own code of vigilante justice, and the first ones to get offed are child rapists and abusers. In any case, he was a dead man walking. If there is any suspicion it would be the prison guards that allowed him to take the opportunity to kill himself, which I promise they were completely indifferent if he had taken that opportunity or not. No conspiracy here f***tards, just wishful thinking all around! One should gravitate toward Occam’s Razor as a means of hypothesizing, not conspiracy theories. Welcome to trump stupid America! It’s still dumb!

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QAnon: Moronic America

From Rolling Stone, “The theory that Kennedy was alive and running Q arose in June 2018, after the anonymous poster behind Q briefly went dark. Another anonymous poster, ‘R,’ showed up on the QAnon forums on the website 8chan and started dropping hints that JFK Jr. had faked his death to avoid being targeted by members of the deep-state conspiracy and was actually Q.” If only I could believe that this trend is one collective attempt to troll America, but it is not! To be sure, this is simply a too large slice of American stupidity on full display. These f***ing Scheiße-for-brains f***tards actually believe this crap! Even if it is a handful that defines trump stupid of America, they exemplify the larger population of MAGA morons and RepubliKKKlans perfectly. We, as a country, would do well to put these idiots out of their misery for having to live with a level of intellect that defies belief. So much stupidity! Welcome to stupid America!

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UFOs

One appropriate use for quoting RawStory: “In the most recent excerpt from his interview with ABC host George Stephanopoulos, President Donald Trump expressed skepticism at the existence of UFOs despite recent revelations from the Pentagon of sightings.” It is one of the rare instances when traitor trump is not talking crazy. Yes, there are UFOs, but none of these sightings is from an alien life form. Let me be particularly clear on this topic: there is no such thing as alien visitors to this planet and to believe such nonsense means a person is a f***ing G.D. idiot of the highest order! The universe is so vast (incomprehensibly vast) that travel among intelligent alien life forms is assuredly impossible, and if it were possible then such extraterrestrials would be so advanced that either we are insignificant to them or we would have already been converted to copper tops and never know it. So, to think that aliens have visited us is absurd and clearly in the realm of conspiracy idiots and the like. Welcome to stupid America! We believe anything such as Elvis is still alive and traitor trump is a good president.

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MAGA Morons in All Shapes and Sizes

Have I mentioned lately that MAGA morons are really, really stupid people? Even if they support AOC, they are still f***ing G.D. idiots. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posted this quote from a traitor trump supporter on her Twitter account, which proves my point precisely: “I’ve been saying for years that climate change is our most important crisis. You’re one of the only ones who’s been willing to be decisive on it. I like you. I can tell that you are genuine and fighting for us. You’re real and you get it.” I just love trying to dissect the inherent “logical” inconsistencies of traitor trump supporters’ arguments. So, if I understand this moron correctly, he willingly acknowledges climate change is “our most important crisis.” Keywords being most and crisis. What was (and still is) traitor trump’s belief on climate change while running for president? That is to say, what was his official position on the subject before someone who thinks it is a most important crisis voted for him anyway? Well, first, he claimed it was a Chinese hoax. Then he backed off the hoax idea (has he really backed off any hoax/conspiracy theory ideas?), yet traitor trump is still not sure if climate change is man-made or not, saying, “‘I think something’s happening. Something’s changing and it will change back again.’” In short, traitor trump takes a wait-and-see attitude toward this most important crisis, and this MAGA moron/AOC fan still voted for traitor trump. To be sure, this idiot voted for a climate change denier! I mean, one cannot make this Scheiße up. This is a full-on demonstration of stupid people being allowed to vote, and we wonder why things are so f***ed up. Seriously!

Then there is the rest of this person’s comment, specifically the part about AOC being “genuine and fighting for us.” Again, it begs the question, Did MAGA moron voters witness the same presidential campaign as did every other Hillary voter? The inference is that this MAGA moron sees the same genuineness and “fighting for us” attitude in traitor trump as in AOC. I have no idea where to begin to reconcile this level of cognitive dissonance. I guess I’ll start with the obvious question. At what point does a person who campaigns on the following seem like a man of and for the people? Traitor trump brags about not paying taxes, which means the little guy has to pick up the shortfall. He brags about stiffing contractors, which means he screws the small businessman. He brags about how smart he is to use bankruptcy several times to solve his business problems (because he’s an idiot), which means he’s screwed over many people (contractors, investors, creditors) many times because they eat the loss and no doubt those losses are always covered at some point by the lowest level of the food chain: us! He claims to be charitable but really never gives. He created a fake university to scam the average person into believing they could be the next real estate mogul. He was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has never worked a real job in his life. Does any of this sound like a person who understands “us”? Un-f***ing-believable. Yet, MAGA morons and apparently at least one AOC supporter believes traitor trump is for them. Welcome to stupid America! It’s just as dumb as one imagined it would be.

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Endless Stupidity

The level of stupidity in this country is endless: “Broadcaster and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones said it was a ‘form of psychosis’ that caused him to believe certain events — like the Sandy Hook massacre — were staged.” Welcome to stupid America where denying that the Sandy Hook massacre was a staged event and that Hillary Clinton ran a child porn ring out of a pizza shop basement must mean conspiracy. I like this quote (because it’s true): “Alex Jones, purveyor of stupid conspiracies and making money off even stupider people.” Can this country be any more f***ing retarded? Check back tomorrow for the answer; it is probably going to be yes.

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Shot in the Ass

From a CNN article, “‘I grew up in an [anti-vaccination] household, my mom didn’t believe that vaccines were beneficial to the health and safety of society, and believes that they cause autism, brain damage and other complications. This has been largely debunked by the scientific community,’ Lindenberger said in a YouTube video on Saturday. … My parents think vaccines are some kind of government scheme.” Of course, there is the implicit notion that vaccines are some sort of government conspiracy. Parents like this need to be gathered up and sent to some remote island to live out their delusional lives. It’s classic conspiracies for morons, right up there with chemtrails. I’m sorry, but this country cannot afford to allow such profound stupidity to exist within our borders. You want to talk about the dangers of undocumented immigrants; we should be more concerned about deporting American morons. Sadly, conservative thought in America encourages people to be stupid–don’t listen to the government, do what you want with little regard to society, think “me, me, me” vs “we, we, we.” Welcome to stupid America, where life and death decisions are based on personal “belief” or emotion rather than long-established science because this is the land of idiots and science is too hard to understand!