Well, folks, it looks like my query has finally been answered, and apparently it’s been a matter of public record this whole time, but I sure as sh*t was not going to Google, “Does Madison Cawthorn’s dick work?” I bided my time for the answer to reveal itself, and it did in a Politico exposé, which links to his 2015 deposition, “Q. Okay. And do you have the ability to have an erection? A. No. Q. And you’ve never had one since the incident? A. Negative.”
My quest and obsession with Cawthorn have come to an end. Some may wonder why I pick on a paraplegic. It seems rather heartless and cruel. Perhaps it does seem unfortunate to pick on someone who endured a regrettable life accident. But guess what? We all have unfortunate life experiences; we all have crosses to bear. Some are heavier than others. So, cry me a river. Not to mention, he’s the one who decided to become a politician and expose his life to public inspection (and ridicule). I have no doubt that this “uber homeschooled Christian” was a dick before the accident — as uber Christians tend to be — and he’s proved himself to be a dick after the accident and in politics. Life-changing experiences such as Cawthorn’s tend to amplify one’s character, not change it. Too bad the dick can’t get hard.