Birds aren’t real. The truth is finally here! I was skeptical for a bit, but once I learned that CIA spy birds were recharging by sitting on power lines, then it all made sense. I never understood how it could be that birds perched upon uninsulated power lines and never get electrocuted. Now I know why. And allow me to offer my own nugget of truth. A bird pooped on my hand out of nowhere when I was a kid. My hand! Of all the places a bird’s poop could land. Now, many, many years later, a bird has never once defecated on me since. Why? Because they are all drones. Everything makes sense. Oh, and those birds that run into buildings and windmills? Malfunctioning units. What living organism would purposely fly into something that kills them? Makes no sense. What more proof does one require to believe? Not to believe flies in the face of simple logic. About time someone cleared the cobwebs from people’s eyes. Birds aren’t real!
An Unvarnished Politically Satirical Chronicling of Everyday America