Missing White Blond Person Found

According to CNN, “American college student Kenny DeLand Jr. has been reunited with his mother in Lyon, France, and is expected to return to the United States soon, according to a French diplomatic source. … DeLand Sr. said his son did not disclose many details about what he has been up to for the past weeks but said he was in Spain and asked his father to stop contacting news outlets.” No one covered this missing kid except for CNN because, you know, he’s a good-looking white blond guy with blue eyes. He doesn’t quite fit the usual “missing white blond girl” mode of sensationalist journalism, which, of course, servers as click-bait and a viewership ratings booster for the masses of idiot Americans, which CNN is particular fond doing. I’m merely indulging in this case to make a point. Other than this kid creating a tiny international incident, no one should care. Although, I am curious about what the fuck happened to him, and, apparently, his parents seem bewildered as well since Kenny has offered no (public) explanation. But I am pretty sure I can surmise something. The only reason one would ditch their international hosts and travel to another country without telling the parents is to chase some pussy or dick. Not sure what Kenny’s specific case may be, but that’s why. I hope it was worth it. You only live once I guess.