According to CBS News, “Federal workers received an email on Saturday instructing them to document five things they accomplished in the past week, and Elon Musk said those who don’t reply would risk losing their jobs. The email from the Office of Personnel Management, or OPM, had the subject line, “What did you do last week?” It instructed recipients to reply with five examples of what they got done last week, excluding any classified information, and asked workers to include their supervisor in their response. Musk, who is overseeing the White House’s Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, said in a post on X that ‘Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation.’ He said the directive was ‘Consistent with President [Trump’s] instructions.’ The email itself did not include the threat of forced resignation.”
While Office Space memes abound with this asinine request from the “Department of Government Efficiency,” it is a prime example of just how f***ing stupid Elona Musk is. I’m sorry, this is not the type of sh*t that comes from the mind of a brilliant man; this is jejune B.S. At the time of this writing, there are about 3 million people in the civilian workforce, per Pew Research. Even if we were to believe that a fraction of those individuals received an email asking them to justify their work productivity — let’s say 100,000 — and they replied, then who and how the f*** are their responses to be evaluated? Is some “DOGE” fanboy going to match an employee’s response to their job title? I assume an accountant in any given department would not get away with saying they solved a logistics problem. So, how is “DOGE” going to evaluate the substance of employees’ lists? I assume Musk sycophants and other assorted f***tards in the MAGA moron universe will instantly claim, “AI can do it.” Not! And what counts as an “accomplishment?” What if Musk is underwhelmed by said “accomplishments?” What if said accomplishments are not “hardcore enough?” What if only four of five items on a person’s list are considered worthy accomplishments? Are the people fired? Demoted? Put on probation? This is all silliness.
And spare me with Musk’s reasoning. As The Hill reports, “Tech billionaire Elon Musk said Sunday the email to federal employees asking them to report back on their weekly accomplishments is meant to spot ‘outright fraud’ from people on the payroll who aren’t working at all. ‘The reason this matters is that a significant number of people who are supposed to be working for the government are doing so little work that they are not checking their email at all!’ Musk wrote on his social platform X, responding to a post about the email. ‘In some cases, we believe non-existent people or the identities of dead people are being used to collect paychecks,’ Musk continued. ‘In other words, there is outright fraud.’” Christ-on-the-m*****f***ing-Cross. What a load of sh*t! People not checking their email?!?! Doing so little work?!?! Dead people?!?! Unbelievable. You know, there are ways that an entity (governmental or a publicly traded firm) can check if someone is reading their email and/or logging into the system. Or, at the very f***ing least, a person’s direct supervisor might have some inkling if an employee is doing their job or not — or is alive! Once again, Musk’s retrospective explanations for his bizarre behavior are all lies and misdirection to cover up his mismanagement “style.” F***! This guy sees conspiracies everywhere, yet people think he’s the man who will save America from itself. F*** me! We are so screwed!
So, in the end, let me see if I understand this latest Musk gimmick correctly: The oxymoronic-named “Department of Government Efficiency” demands that each government employee waste time and effort — no matter how di minimus — to explain what they did the prior week only to have whatever they wrote most assuredly go unevaluated. Perhaps this is a test for individuals to see if they can follow directions or yet another fabricated means to terminate workers. Who knows? But what’s certain is that this ask is not efficient at all. In fact, it is meaningly, busy work that only distracts from people’s primary job functions. But, hey! This is the new world of idiocracy that we live in now. Thanks to the dumbest electorate on the planet. Welcome to stupid America. Always one-upping itself — daily!