I Had a MAGA Moron Breakfast Today

Kill! Me! Now! On one weekday, I treat myself to eating out at a popular breakfast spot, where I forego my somewhat Spartan habits to indulge in caffeinated coffee, pancakes, eggs, and bacon, along with leisure time to read the book de jour, which happens to be Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman — the irony of this particular book selection will be apparent in a moment. Still, I must set up the anecdote first.

Today, I was unusually early — about 30 minutes after the place opened — so the restaurant was practically empty, and I could not avoid overhearing a conversation that ensued among partons. Sitting in a booth too near to me was your typical white senior citizen MAGA moron couple, where the obese, loud mouth husband indulged in a breakfast he should not be consuming. And yes, I am making an ad hominem attack on this idiot, which, too, shall become evident at the end. He was talking to another, lone white male senior citizen MAGA moron sitting directly across the aisle at a U-shaped bar, a few seats around the corner from where I was sitting. I was facing all three, so between their relative position to me, their necessarily loud talking to each other from a distance, and virtually no one else in the restaurant, I could not avoid listening to their resentment-laden banter as I struggled to concentrate on my book.

It was as if listening to “The Five” on Faux News as their conversation hit all the latest talking points — in no particular order — from the Mar-a-Lago raid to traitor trump can declassify anything he wants to — and I quote — the IRS is creating an “army” to “literally knock down your door” to the irony of the Mall of America shooters being caught in Chicago — a racist jab — to a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun to Hunter Biden to Pelosi to the government taxes and spends too much. Oh, and it’s all Biden’s fault, who aims to hurt traitor trump. You name any of the recent, germane RepubliKKKlan and MAGA moron talking points, and they were parroting them back and forth to each other. Needless to say, I did not get much reading done because I was consumed, incensed, and distracted by their mindless “discussion,” especially by the obese one, because no matter the topic, he always had to tie it back to RepubliKKKlan talking points. Even when there was a lull in the across-the-aisle exchange — and mind you, these two parties appeared to be strangers or eatery acquaintances at best — the obese one would suddenly start up on a topic of grievance to the other, who would respond in kind, revving up the motor-mouths again.

Why do I recount this morning’s events? Because it genuinely underscores the inescapability and the danger of underestimating the pervasiveness and stupidity of RepubliKKKlans and MAGA morons in America. As I constantly say, this level of stupid in America cannot be undone. To be clear, I do not live in a particularly conservative area. The villages, townships, and cities in which I live, work, and interact are very diverse in ethnicity, social status, and political affiliation. If anything, I live in a slightly center-left area, so when I “randomly” hear such idiotic conservative conservation, which is not the first time in this restaurant, then I strongly suspect these moronic attitudes and beliefs are more widespread than I — and Democrats — care to admit. Moreover, by comparison, I have never overheard “pro-Biden,” so to speak, conversations, and the people who patronize and work at the restaurant are of all types, as I just stated above; nonetheless, the conversations that invariably make their way to my ears are MAGA moron-filled tropes. The irony of what I just said is not lost on me, and those familiar with Thinking, Fast and Slow would understand the pitfalls of my thinking on this matter and these MAGA morons’ “thinking” about politics. I was literally living a real-time example of what the book was instructing — from both perspectives.

Finally, as to the obese guy, the last topic of conversation he invoked was the tried-and-true “government taxes and spends too much,” which is code for unnecessary entitlements. That is to say, his tax dollars go to unworthy recipients who are lazy and mooch off of the system (read: colored people). Of course, when he got up, and the amount of blubber hanging off his frame became manifest, all I could wonder was how much of my tax dollars were going to his Medicare expenses to maintain a clearly unhealthy lifestyle. I’m sure that my tax dollars are subsidizing his diabetes medication, which, of course, given his weight, is coupled with high blood pressure medication and, no doubt, medication for his heart disease, which probably also implies he has kidney issues, requiring yet more medicine. It is always lost on these f***tards that younger people like me are subsidizing the entitlements on which they depend. These are also the first ones to advocate defunding Medicare and Social Security Insurance — after they’re gone. How convenient for them! Naturally, they all insist that they’ve paid into Social Security all their working lives, so they are rightly entitled to their benefits. Yes, true! But let’s be honest. Fat f***tards, like that MAGA moron at breakfast today, use more than their fair share because of their lifestyle choices. Yet, they have no problem b*tching and complaining about the same liberal policies that keep them alive — paid for by later generations. This is why I hate these people with the heat of a thousand white-hot suns. They are morons unworthy of life, yet my tax dollars keep them alive to spew their hatred and vote for the likes of traitor trump. I’m surprised COVID didn’t take him out. I’m sure he’s one of those types to decry COVID protocols and vaccinations as he rolled up his sleeve to get a free COVID shot paid for by the same government he thinks can’t govern. Welcome to stupid America! All I want is one day a week to enjoy breakfast with coffee and my book without being reminded that stupidity is everywhere, everywhere stupidity!