If you are a RepubliKKKlan, a MAGA moron, an evil evangelical, or a QAnon kook, then you are a murderer. Full stop! You are the problem in America! You are the national cancer. You are the one that should be killed in these daily mass shootings. You should be the one dying from COVID. (Actually, most of you guys are — so good on you for that!) As The Guardian reports, “Born from far-right nationalism, the extremist ideology [great replacement theory] expounding the view that immigration will ultimately destroy white values and western civilization has found favor not only with media figures, such as conservative Fox News host Tucker Carlson, but a host of elected politicians and others seeking office. Those who have convinced themselves Democrats are operating an open-door immigration policy to “replace” Republican voters with people of color and keep themselves in power permanently include congresswoman Elise Stefanik, chair of her party’s House conference, and JD Vance, the Donald Trump-approved Republican nominee to represent Ohio in the US Senate.” Do humanity a favor and take your Second Amendment right, shoot your children, your spouse, and yourself — in that order! Welcome to stupid America!
Hmm. If it’s Saturday, then there must be another mass shooting in America. As Forbes writes, “The U.S. has averaged more than one mass shooting a day this year, continuing an upward trend since researchers began thoroughly tracking the subject following the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary.” But particularly special about today’s mass shooting in a Buffalo, New York supermarket is the racist and Great Replacement motivations, which are 100 percent propagated by RepubliKKKlans, MAGA morons, evil evangelicals, and QAnon kooks. As I have written ad nauseam, all these people — 40 percent of the population, at least — are a cancer on this nation.
Look, morons! America is doomed. I don’t know how many times I have to keep saying it. I don’t know how many examples of American life I have to evince. I don’t know how many tragedies I must share before this country wakes up to its impending doom. I can already hear the right-wing arguments against one lone 18-year-old white supremacist targeting and killing 10 Blacks. The people who are the likes of Tucker “I’m a Racist” Carlson, who espouses the Great Replacement Theory on his show daily, will declare it’s not their fault. They will claim this guy is a crazy “lone wolf” kid. They will claim this “not a domestic terrorist attack” is all the more reason for everyone to conceal carry. Fear not, for SCOTUS is about to grant Second Amendment gun nuts’ wish by making America a true hellscape of people armed to the teeth and donned with all the latest tactical gear to walk the dog.
But whatever! I say the same sh*t after every mass shooting because it’s all the same. I could actually sum up everything in a few fragments of thought. America’s crazy love of guns, social media, and the “reality show.” America’s white supremacy problem. One political party desires and stokes minority hatred. SCOTUS is about to flood the nation with permitless conceal carry because FREEDOM! (Freedom to be killed, that is, but only in America!) And, of course, no one cares because it all keeps happening over and over and over and over again. “Thoughts and prayers!” Meaningless. I can’t wait for nothing to change! Welcome to stupid America!
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Cawthorn’s Tallywacker Does Not Work!
Well, folks, it looks like my query has finally been answered, and apparently it’s been a matter of public record this whole time, but I sure as sh*t was not going to Google, “Does Madison Cawthorn’s dick work?” I bided my time for the answer to reveal itself, and it did in a Politico exposé, which links to his 2015 deposition, “Q. Okay. And do you have the ability to have an erection? A. No. Q. And you’ve never had one since the incident? A. Negative.”
My quest and obsession with Cawthorn have come to an end. Some may wonder why I pick on a paraplegic. It seems rather heartless and cruel. Perhaps it does seem unfortunate to pick on someone who endured a regrettable life accident. But guess what? We all have unfortunate life experiences; we all have crosses to bear. Some are heavier than others. So, cry me a river. Not to mention, he’s the one who decided to become a politician and expose his life to public inspection (and ridicule). I have no doubt that this “uber homeschooled Christian” was a dick before the accident — as uber Christians tend to be — and he’s proved himself to be a dick after the accident and in politics. Life-changing experiences such as Cawthorn’s tend to amplify one’s character, not change it. Too bad the dick can’t get hard.
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Douchebag Attention Whore Musk Does What?
This two-thumbs-up douchebag attention whore pothead who doubles as a “brilliant” businessman ala traitor trump must be in need of some headlines. Breaking news from CNN, “Elon Musk said he is putting his bid to acquire Twitter (TWTR) on hold, weeks after agreeing to take the company private in a $44 billion deal. … Twitter estimated that fake or spam accounts made up fewer than 5% of the platform’s active users during the first three months of the year. … It’s unclear why Musk would back away from the deal because of the latest disclosure.” It’s unclear because it makes no sense. Of course, better minds than myself were always skeptical about this deal going through. I guess he has $1 billion to throw away as the cost of a no-deal after all because who doesn’t?
Musk is a dick! Plain and simple. It is incomprehensible to me how and why people still take this idiot seriously. He f***s with the market and businesses for fun. He’s constantly under review by the SEC for these exact types of antics. Yet, his idiot sycophant followers think this guy is brilliant when he’s nothing more than a joke. He’s a bored man-baby with too much money and too much weed. What a douchebag! America’s darling — naturally! Welcome to stupid America!
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Subpoenas to Nowhere
Is it just me, or is the House January 6 Committee going fucking nowhere? Today they issued subpoenas for McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Scott Perry, Andy Biggs, and Mo Brooks. Why? Seriously! Why bother? None of these RepubliKKKlans will show up to testify. So, what will the committee do in response? Absolutely nothing! Oh, sure! They might refer contempt charges to the DOJ, but we all know how that will end — nothing happens. In short, what the committee just proved is they are willing to issue subpoenas to recalcitrant witnesses but unwilling to enforce them, rendering these subpoenas and any subpoenas issued by Democrats absolutely worthless! I promise you this, though. If the tables were turned and Democrats ignored RepubliKKKlan subpoenas, then they would not hesitate to clean out the ‘ole basement jail to hold people with inherent contempt of Congress. This latest stunt will only reveal the utter weakness of the Democratic Party and the incompetence of the January 6 Committee. I expected nothing less. Welcome to stupid America!
Biden calls traitor trump “The Great MAGA King.” Ugh! Kill me now! I can’t anymore. I just f***ing can’t with dumbass Democrats. They have no sense or concept of pejoratives. Biden intended the remark to be an insult. And for a person who is the leader of the free world and head of a domestic political party that still believes in democracy, one may understand the slur, but that says too much about the American audience. To be sure, RepubliKKKlans, MAGA morons, evil evangelicals, and QAnon kooks embrace Biden’s dig because they hate democracy and would rather have king traitor trump. Instead of Biden cutting the MAGA movement, he just gave them something to embrace. Naturally, that’s the problem with the political fecklessness of the Democratic Party. They have no idea how to fight verbally, politically, or psychically. And this is why America’s democracy is doomed in the face of an anti-democratic, pro-king political opposition. Democrats have no chance. Welcome to stupid America.
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Americans Are Unlearnable!
Good for Biden! I listened to his inflation speech yesterday, and he did a fine job of explaining the current economic situation. It was not the first time he’s done so, but this talk to America seemed more to the point. And I like how he keeps talking about the “Putin price increase,” which is an entirely fair point. I also appreciate the little bit of fear he used by asking voters to imagine how things would be under RepubliKKKlan control. The fear imagery, however, needed to be starker. And I like his new attacks on “ultra-MAGA,” although he hasn’t quite figured out how to make the pejorative roll off the tongue. All that being said, Americans are unlearnable! Even though Biden needs and should be “teaching” the basics of economics, the role of the Federal Reserve, and inflation to America, people are not smart enough to digest the content, no matter how dumbed-down Biden’s lesson to the country, for, in the end, Americans only apprehend economics via how much it costs to fill up their car and what a steak costs. So, Biden can do (and should continue to do) all the explaining he wants, but I fear it will fall on deaf and dumb ears. I cannot fault him for trying! Welcome to stupid America!
Look! Killing Roe is meant to help avert the Great Replacement. Coupled with controlling women’s bodies, this is the primary goal of the white Christian nationalists sitting on SCOTUS and in government. Now, now. I already hear your objections: Killing Roe impacts poor minority groups the most, which are allegedly the groups engendering the Great Replacement. To be sure, poor minority groups would be most impacted by banning abortions, but there is a reason why white nationalists want to push abortions into the back alleys because, mind you, abortions are not going away; they’re just going to become more deadly, and that is the point. If black and brown people can’t get an abortion legally, then they are more likely to die trying or be jailed for succeeding. Either way, they cannot reproduce to replace whitey. These RepubliKKKlans, MAGA morons, evil evangelicals, and QAnon kooks are counting on white pregnant women forced to give birth to outnumber the darkies. In short, white supremacists want abortion bans to propel the white baby population while hoping minorities die while trying! It’s really that simple. Welcome to stupid America!
This is no surprise. According to USA Today, “Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk said if his deal to acquire Twitter goes through, he would let former president Donald Trump return to the platform.” Of course, he would because douchebags flock together. Look, morons. Musk has only one desire with Twitter: To destroy America! Full stop! His advocacy for free speech absolutism means all speech within “the law” no matter the consequences. So, please, by all means, bring traitor trump back! Return Twitter to the cesspool that it once was. If Musk really thinks this is going to be a profitable strategy, then he really is a f***tard. In truth, he doesn’t care about profitability. I think he has an ulterior motive wherein he needs to control a means of mass communication. Who knows what the plan is, but I assure you that it entails accumulating greater power. And, no doubt, the morons and sycophantic losers of American society who revere these billionaire-types will be more than willing to help him achieve his nefarious quest. And when traitor trump says he would not return to Twitter if allowed, he’s lying, just like he always does. So, that claim is all bullsh*t!
I have heard Twitter users — progressives — urge fellow progressives to keep their accounts when Musk takes over as a means to maintain a presence and not allow right-wing trolls to drive them off the platform. To that sh*tty piece of advice, I say f*** no! Get the f*** off Twitter the second traitor trump returns. Then again, progressives are gluttons for punishment. People need to prove to Musk that a return to the free-for-all Twitter is a product no one wants to use, but who am I kidding? I’m sure Musk knows moronic Americans better than Americans do. He understands that citizens of this great country love the abuse. They love the sh*tshow. They want Twitter to be the cesspool it once was. Oh, well. Welcome to stupid America. I can’t wait for this disaster!
I have been listening to the apologetic arguments by dumbass Democrats over the termination of Roe. While they have finally been making much noise (sound and fury), they are all missing a cohesive, pithy catchphrase. Imagine that! Dumbass Democrats don’t have a coordinated message! The day after the Alito opinion killing Roe leaked, RepubliKKKlans had three pages of talking points to set the messaging swiftly. Democrats, of course, have nothing, so each Senator and Congressperson is left to present their own disconnected set of views, which are all essentially aligned, but it’s not effective. I did hear Senator Schumer describe the “horror” of overturning Roe. Ugh! The use of “horror” connotes some lousy movie. That man is a disastrous leader of the senate and Democrats. He just always seems to miss the f***ing mark with his language and political maneuvers. I can’t wait to hear him exclaim “shame” to McConnell or other RepubliKKKlans as if they have any. Kill me now. These are the people fighting for women’s rights! We’re screwed. Nonetheless, Democrats fail to establish and repeat — ad nauseam — that one phrase voters need to remember.
Well, I do have the catchphrase! Democrats need to take a page from Brexit. Women need to take back control of their bodies! “Take back control!” It is that simple. Keep it simple, stupid! It is perfect for the stupidity that is the American voter! This is free advice that I am confident dumbass Democrats will ignore because it probably comes off as too forceful and may imply RepubliKKKlans want to control women’s bodies. God forbid Democrats speak truth to power. Welcome to stupid America! It can always be dumber!