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Purely Moronic RepubliKKKlans

America Is a Death Cult of Gun-lovers: Oh, Well!

Reporting from CNN, “In a ruling that compared the AR-15 to a Swiss Army knife, a federal judge overturned California’s longtime ban on assault weapons on Friday, ruling it violates the Second Amendment’s right to bear arms.” Of course! Of course, of course, of course! No one cares, and certainly, no one is paying attention as judges and lawmakers (Texas!) make sure America has more guns everywhere! Everyone gets a gun. You get a gun, and you get a gun, and you get a gun! And not just any gun, but the worst of guns! Typically, I would read legal opinions when I write about them. Still, in this case, I did not because just based on the one quote being reported, it clearly indicates the judge’s “reasoning” is complete garbage. Specifically, the judge states, “Like the Swiss Army Knife, the popular AR-15 rifle is a perfect combination of home defense weapon and homeland defense equipment. Firearms deemed as ‘assault weapons’ are fairly ordinary, popular, modern rifles.” Um, so he’s a death cult gun-lover! Where to begin with this one, short, moronic excerpt. Obviously, the judge lacks any credibility just by the pure preposterous nature of his “argument.” Like so many gun “enthusiasts,” the judge equates a weapon of war to a tool of utility. And I will not dignify objections raised by the distracting — yet ubiquitous — use of “weapon of war” with pleonastic explanation, but suffice it to say, anything other than a pistol or shotgun in the hands of an individual is likely something intended to do maximum damage quickly as if one were at war! You see, this “learned” judge argues, the AR-15 killing machine really is just like a pocket knife. You see, like the pocket knife that can cut small objects, double as a can opener, triple as a corkscrew opener, quadruple as a nail file, and so on, the AR-15 is just an “ordinary, popular” multi-purpose killing tool. Thus, by virtue of its mere mundanity and usefulness, it must be constitutional to own. It is the jejune argument equivalent of “but everyone is doing it.” I can’t! I just f***ing can’t with these f***ing morons anymore. Whatever!

Then this idiot judge argues that because such guns are readily available in other states, it is unconstitutional for Californians to be denied similar access. Apparently, this f***tard judge has never heard of the Tenth Amendment — “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” This Amendment establishes the federalism principle, also known as states’ rights. In short, if the federal government has not prohibited a ban on the ownership of assault-style weapons, then States are free to do so, and California did! Certainly, SCOTUS has never ruled on the constitutionality of such a prohibition, and therein lies the true motivation, of course! Of course, this is just a means to the ultimate end: Get (another) gun ownership case in front of the f***-America and who-cares-who-dies-as-a-result-of-our-rulings SCOTUS. In particular, this case would be highly fruitful for the death cult in that it would open the flood gates for no limitations on the type of guns people may be allowed to own. Mark my words, f***tards. This is the case of which death cult gun owners have been dreaming, especially given this ultra-conservative SCOTUS. This court will stop at nothing to gleefully interrupt the unlimited nature of the Second Amendment. Mark my words. No state will be allowed to regulate guns in the name of public safety or public health; we must all be inducted into the American death cult! I give up!

One need only follow the logic of the cases being coerced to SCOTUS by gun lovers. First, the 2008 Heller case established the right of every American to own a gun within the home. In other words, everyone gets a gun. Check! Next, SCOTUS will review this year’s NY State Rifle & Pistol Assoc. v. Corlett, in which the argument is to what extent a State may regulate gun owners taking guns outside the home. No question about how SCOTUS will rule on this case. In other words, everyone gets a gun to carry anywhere. Check! Last is the up-and-coming Miller v. California, which will test the right of gun owners to own any gun they want. Again, the death cult enabling SCOTUS will undoubtedly seek and find inexplicable, expansive, and unlimited gun rights in the Second Amendment that have never been seen before now. In other words, everyone gets any gun. Check! All in all: Anyone gets any weapon they want to carry everywhere. Check! Check! And check! What could possibly go wrong in such a society? It’s the beginning of the end, morons. The only piece left is the faultless use of guns. In other words, as long as one feared something (anything — a shadow, for instance), the lethal use of a gun will be perfectly justified because FREEDOM! All of this will be thanks to RepubliKKKlans and SCOTUS. And no one will care as the 21st century becomes more the wild, wild West than the 19th and early 20th centuries ever were. I give up!

And I close with this. Look, idiots! Guns are intended for one purpose and one purpose only: To kill people or animals. (Given the current nature of American society, the aforementioned statement contains a blatant redundancy.) Moreover, people who collect guns or think they are some sort of pastime or hobby or sport have a real serious mental illness, which I guess indeed explains a substantial proportion of the citizenry. In short, America is a death cult where everyone is just waiting to be killed as everyone expects everyone else to do something about it. To be sure, politicians are incompetent to do anything about gun deaths because they don’t care either. Welcome to stupid, stupid America. Don’t worry, morons. Nothing will ever change (for the better). Watch out! An open-carry AR-15 is coming to your town, and there is not a single f***ing thing you can do about it! RIP America!

Categories
MAGA Morons Politics Purely Moronic RepubliKKKlans

What Does DeVega Think?

Naturally, I must turn to my favorite and brilliant commentator Chauncey DeVega of Salon for his take on the Buffalo domestic terrorist attack. He writes, “[T]hrough his words, deeds, and use of stochastic terrorism as well as overt threats, Donald Trump has shown that he is eager to incite a white-on-Black ‘race war.’ He believes such a calamity will help him return to national power. This is far from an empty threat or a hollow fantasy: Trump’s followers have repeatedly shown that they are willing to kill and die at his command.” Indeed! This is where we’re at in America! Traitor trump, Tucker “I’m a Racist” Carlson, RepubliKKKlans, et al. have been openly calling for white supremacist mobilization, and it’s happening as we speak. It’s working!

Look, morons! They don’t have to mobilize everyone all at once. No! They just need to convince enough moronic Americans to vote for their white supremacist political candidates. And don’t be fooled by traitor trump’s kingmaker misses! The MSM loves to track his win-loss record, which is stupid and meaningless. He does not need to be 100 percent correct; he just needs to get a few of his MAGA morons and QAnon kooks in Congress and other state positions to accelerate the permanent turn toward fascism. As I have said countless times before, the end is coming. This Buffalo mass shooting is not “just another massacre.” It is a through point — a trajectory — to the next civil war and the end of America’s democracy. Mark my words! America is simply too stupid to understand and too stupid to stop the insidious drift toward fascism because Americans love it or don’t care! Oh, well! You’ve been warned. Welcome to stupid America!

Categories
Evil Evangelicals MAGA Morons RepubliKKKlans

All RepubliKKKlans et al. Are Murderers

If you are a RepubliKKKlan, a MAGA moron, an evil evangelical, or a QAnon kook, then you are a murderer. Full stop! You are the problem in America! You are the national cancer. You are the one that should be killed in these daily mass shootings. You should be the one dying from COVID. (Actually, most of you guys are — so good on you for that!) As The Guardian reports, “Born from far-right nationalism, the extremist ideology [great replacement theory] expounding the view that immigration will ultimately destroy white values and western civilization has found favor not only with media figures, such as conservative Fox News host Tucker Carlson, but a host of elected politicians and others seeking office. Those who have convinced themselves Democrats are operating an open-door immigration policy to “replace” Republican voters with people of color and keep themselves in power permanently include congresswoman Elise Stefanik, chair of her party’s House conference, and JD Vance, the Donald Trump-approved Republican nominee to represent Ohio in the US Senate.” Do humanity a favor and take your Second Amendment right, shoot your children, your spouse, and yourself — in that order! Welcome to stupid America!

Categories
Evil Evangelicals MAGA Morons Politics Purely Moronic RepubliKKKlans

American Mass Shooting: Days Ending in ‘Y’

Neo-Nazi Payton Gendron; Attribution BigDawg via Reuters

Hmm. If it’s Saturday, then there must be another mass shooting in America. As Forbes writes, “The U.S. has averaged more than one mass shooting a day this year, continuing an upward trend since researchers began thoroughly tracking the subject following the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary.” But particularly special about today’s mass shooting in a Buffalo, New York supermarket is the racist and Great Replacement motivations, which are 100 percent propagated by RepubliKKKlans, MAGA morons, evil evangelicals, and QAnon kooks. As I have written ad nauseam, all these people — 40 percent of the population, at least — are a cancer on this nation.

Look, morons! America is doomed. I don’t know how many times I have to keep saying it. I don’t know how many examples of American life I have to evince. I don’t know how many tragedies I must share before this country wakes up to its impending doom. I can already hear the right-wing arguments against one lone 18-year-old white supremacist targeting and killing 10 Blacks. The people who are the likes of Tucker “I’m a Racist” Carlson, who espouses the Great Replacement Theory on his show daily, will declare it’s not their fault. They will claim this guy is a crazy “lone wolf” kid. They will claim this “not a domestic terrorist attack” is all the more reason for everyone to conceal carry. Fear not, for SCOTUS is about to grant Second Amendment gun nuts’ wish by making America a true hellscape of people armed to the teeth and donned with all the latest tactical gear to walk the dog.

But whatever! I say the same sh*t after every mass shooting because it’s all the same. I could actually sum up everything in a few fragments of thought. America’s crazy love of guns, social media, and the “reality show.” America’s white supremacy problem. One political party desires and stokes minority hatred. SCOTUS is about to flood the nation with permitless conceal carry because FREEDOM! (Freedom to be killed, that is, but only in America!) And, of course, no one cares because it all keeps happening over and over and over and over again. “Thoughts and prayers!” Meaningless. I can’t wait for nothing to change! Welcome to stupid America!

Categories
Politics

Cawthorn’s Tallywacker Does Not Work!

Well, folks, it looks like my query has finally been answered, and apparently it’s been a matter of public record this whole time, but I sure as sh*t was not going to Google, “Does Madison Cawthorn’s dick work?” I bided my time for the answer to reveal itself, and it did in a Politico exposé, which links to his 2015 deposition, “Q. Okay. And do you have the ability to have an erection? A. No. Q. And you’ve never had one since the incident? A. Negative.”

My quest and obsession with Cawthorn have come to an end. Some may wonder why I pick on a paraplegic. It seems rather heartless and cruel. Perhaps it does seem unfortunate to pick on someone who endured a regrettable life accident. But guess what? We all have unfortunate life experiences; we all have crosses to bear. Some are heavier than others. So, cry me a river. Not to mention, he’s the one who decided to become a politician and expose his life to public inspection (and ridicule). I have no doubt that this “uber homeschooled Christian” was a dick before the accident — as uber Christians tend to be — and he’s proved himself to be a dick after the accident and in politics. Life-changing experiences such as Cawthorn’s tend to amplify one’s character, not change it. Too bad the dick can’t get hard.

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Other

Douchebag Attention Whore Musk Does What?

Yasin Ozturk/Anadolu Agency via Getty Images

This two-thumbs-up douchebag attention whore pothead who doubles as a “brilliant” businessman ala traitor trump must be in need of some headlines. Breaking news from CNN, “Elon Musk said he is putting his bid to acquire Twitter (TWTR) on hold, weeks after agreeing to take the company private in a $44 billion deal. … Twitter estimated that fake or spam accounts made up fewer than 5% of the platform’s active users during the first three months of the year. … It’s unclear why Musk would back away from the deal because of the latest disclosure.” It’s unclear because it makes no sense. Of course, better minds than myself were always skeptical about this deal going through. I guess he has $1 billion to throw away as the cost of a no-deal after all because who doesn’t?

Musk is a dick! Plain and simple. It is incomprehensible to me how and why people still take this idiot seriously. He f***s with the market and businesses for fun. He’s constantly under review by the SEC for these exact types of antics. Yet, his idiot sycophant followers think this guy is brilliant when he’s nothing more than a joke. He’s a bored man-baby with too much money and too much weed. What a douchebag! America’s darling — naturally! Welcome to stupid America!

Categories
Politics RepubliKKKlans

Subpoenas to Nowhere

Is it just me, or is the House January 6 Committee going fucking nowhere? Today they issued subpoenas for McCarthy, Jim Jordan, Scott Perry, Andy Biggs, and Mo Brooks. Why? Seriously! Why bother? None of these RepubliKKKlans will show up to testify. So, what will the committee do in response? Absolutely nothing! Oh, sure! They might refer contempt charges to the DOJ, but we all know how that will end — nothing happens. In short, what the committee just proved is they are willing to issue subpoenas to recalcitrant witnesses but unwilling to enforce them, rendering these subpoenas and any subpoenas issued by Democrats absolutely worthless! I promise you this, though. If the tables were turned and Democrats ignored RepubliKKKlan subpoenas, then they would not hesitate to clean out the ‘ole basement jail to hold people with inherent contempt of Congress. This latest stunt will only reveal the utter weakness of the Democratic Party and the incompetence of the January 6 Committee. I expected nothing less. Welcome to stupid America!

Categories
Dumbass Democrats MAGA Morons Politics RepubliKKKlans

‘The Great MAGA King’

Biden calls traitor trump “The Great MAGA King.” Ugh! Kill me now! I can’t anymore. I just f***ing can’t with dumbass Democrats. They have no sense or concept of pejoratives. Biden intended the remark to be an insult. And for a person who is the leader of the free world and head of a domestic political party that still believes in democracy, one may understand the slur, but that says too much about the American audience. To be sure, RepubliKKKlans, MAGA morons, evil evangelicals, and QAnon kooks embrace Biden’s dig because they hate democracy and would rather have king traitor trump. Instead of Biden cutting the MAGA movement, he just gave them something to embrace. Naturally, that’s the problem with the political fecklessness of the Democratic Party. They have no idea how to fight verbally, politically, or psychically. And this is why America’s democracy is doomed in the face of an anti-democratic, pro-king political opposition. Democrats have no chance. Welcome to stupid America.

Categories
Purely Moronic

Americans Are Unlearnable!

Good for Biden! I listened to his inflation speech yesterday, and he did a fine job of explaining the current economic situation. It was not the first time he’s done so, but this talk to America seemed more to the point. And I like how he keeps talking about the “Putin price increase,” which is an entirely fair point. I also appreciate the little bit of fear he used by asking voters to imagine how things would be under RepubliKKKlan control. The fear imagery, however, needed to be starker. And I like his new attacks on “ultra-MAGA,” although he hasn’t quite figured out how to make the pejorative roll off the tongue. All that being said, Americans are unlearnable! Even though Biden needs and should be “teaching” the basics of economics, the role of the Federal Reserve, and inflation to America, people are not smart enough to digest the content, no matter how dumbed-down Biden’s lesson to the country, for, in the end, Americans only apprehend economics via how much it costs to fill up their car and what a steak costs. So, Biden can do (and should continue to do) all the explaining he wants, but I fear it will fall on deaf and dumb ears. I cannot fault him for trying! Welcome to stupid America!

Categories
Evil Evangelicals MAGA Morons Politics Purely Moronic RepubliKKKlans

Killing Roe Is the Great Replacement Choice

Look! Killing Roe is meant to help avert the Great Replacement. Coupled with controlling women’s bodies, this is the primary goal of the white Christian nationalists sitting on SCOTUS and in government. Now, now. I already hear your objections: Killing Roe impacts poor minority groups the most, which are allegedly the groups engendering the Great Replacement. To be sure, poor minority groups would be most impacted by banning abortions, but there is a reason why white nationalists want to push abortions into the back alleys because, mind you, abortions are not going away; they’re just going to become more deadly, and that is the point. If black and brown people can’t get an abortion legally, then they are more likely to die trying or be jailed for succeeding. Either way, they cannot reproduce to replace whitey. These RepubliKKKlans, MAGA morons, evil evangelicals, and QAnon kooks are counting on white pregnant women forced to give birth to outnumber the darkies. In short, white supremacists want abortion bans to propel the white baby population while hoping minorities die while trying! It’s really that simple. Welcome to stupid America!